You think hell go through with it? Gavin asked me with a look of concern. He had a thin old faced creased by stress.
Dont worry, I told my colleague, Itll never happen. Just as soon as the boss realizes what will happen if Medusa inc. takes over, hell change his mind.
Yeah but, what if he doesnt realize? he whispered to me, panicky, Hes getting old. He doesnt want to carry on working no matter what the consequences anyway. I sure as hell wouldnt. Maybe he will sell up.
Nah, I told him, brushing it off with
Riding on this wave for so long
I wonder if I can ever get off or
turn the other way?
Letting the stream take me away
I wonder if I can keep my head above water
and see what's happening?
Blown around on trade winds
I wonder if I can change my path, make life easier,
to twist my destiny someplace else?
Running from a tropical storm
I wonder if some day I will get to taste the fresh air,
stay in front of the roar and let it rage behind me?
Sitting in the passenger seat
I wonder if I can take power
and if I won't crash.
The never ending rise, the never ending climb
That steals the sand from beneath my feet
That never ending rise, that never ending climb
That's washing away the lies and all the deceit
I stand upon a castle, crumbling
I scream but no one cares
I'm groping after imaginary rope
Under all these icy stares
You advised me just to deny it all
So I did, and they left me here
Wasting away, seeing the end,
But waiting a few more years
As the waves climb ever higher
And the sun burns my bare back
I know it's all too late
And I let my mind go slack
Too late to apologise
Too late to fix all the wrongs, the jury has spoken
I'm sorry doesn
The way of civilized men. by ToiletBrush, literature
Literature
The way of civilized men.
It has been three hundred and seventy two days since this war began. Civil war. More than a years worth of battles and spilt blood. I can tell you that there is nothing civil about it. No politeness. When nations face against nations they take the care to state their intentions first, for honour and for chivalry. But when a nation fights against itself, there are no such discussions. No warnings, no timidity and no restraint. In civil war, there is no opportunity to surrender. There will be only one outcome, one possible finish under a cloud of black smoke.
When enemies know each other the way friends do, there is no time set aside for
Varulf peered over the rocks into the distance. Far across the wild of sand and stone and heat, his quarry awaited. The sky was a clear dark blue blazing richly like sapphires, and the sun stood directly overhead, cursing their task. It was the time of year when the sun never set, and held its full heat in the Desert of Lies.
Varulf had lived in the desert all his life, had never seen any other lands. He had never known anything but the sweltering heat, yet even he despised it. Hidden under his long, light clothes that covered him from head to toe in black cloth, he sweated. He knew, as did his twelve companions, that they would need m
The blackness of the water was compelling. It drew to me as a river runs downhill. There was no other option than bathing myself in the liquid darkness. As I looked at it the stream seemed to grow ever darker. A black that was more than pitch. It swallowed the light from my torch, and any shadow that played across its surface from stalagmite or stalactite simply disappeared, embraced by the water.
The cave was large enough to stand fully erect, with room to spare, but it was thin, barely broad enough for two men abreast, even ignoring the pointed rock that grew from the ground. Those spires, tinted greens and blues, made a maze of the c
A beggar sits in his own stinking filth on the side of the bustling road. People mill about in front of him, ignoring this decrepit mess. His bones are wrapped tight by weary skin and his grey beard hangs lifeless from tanned cheeks, flowing over chapped and bloody lips. His throat is raw, his body weak. He begs openly, his shaky hands held outstretched and cupped in front of him toward the ignorant crowd. He dizzily watches their knees pass hurriedly by, unable to even croak at them for attention as they ignore his private show.
The noise of the street is awing and it is not only the beggar's stench that fills the foul air. But he is g
Fingers stroke each other, twisting and tickling, feeling and following the lines upon our palms. She traces the line that, as palm-readers claim, can read my fortune in love. She is soft, delicate, untarnished by work or pain. She touches me, and her focus is all on me. She is here just for me. We are here together in the innocent honesty of a clear night.
I shift a little on the wet grass, leaning in toward her ever so slightly, trying to be subtle. Wondering now if she noticed my change, wondering if it makes her feel uncomfortable. The night is cool, and I enjoy the closeness. I enjoy her.
We don't need conversation as we look
Without a word, I say my prayers
head bowed low and hands clasped tight
eyes clenched shut, but i can see the light
as i step upon those golden stairs
one foot after the other
I climb up high
I cant hear your breathing when im in my
prayers and dreams of life in ether
my body is at your mercy
but my Spirit flies away
my flesh awaits your taste like trusting, tamed prey
but dont think this means i agree
tomorrow I'll be sore
though I wont at first know why
and ill have that strange feeling as if I need to cry
when i realise that you've taken more
you've taken so much
stolen everything i thought i had
and to think i used to sm
Holding onto memories lost
Holding onto feelings dead
Holding on so tight and hard
Knuckles are white and my heart is charred
For all the love you gave to me
It soon turned sour on this bitter tongue
I didn't realise what we had
Now you walk away, please look back
It's all my fault, I know that now
Today I'm ready for you to change me
Talk to me and make me see
That we were meant for eternity
But you don't look back and I am left
With these thoughts and with these dreams
To beg, pray and hope
At an unforgiving steep slope
I hold on now with one determined fist
Only one hand free to live my shattered life
Because I chased you
You think hell go through with it? Gavin asked me with a look of concern. He had a thin old faced creased by stress.
Dont worry, I told my colleague, Itll never happen. Just as soon as the boss realizes what will happen if Medusa inc. takes over, hell change his mind.
Yeah but, what if he doesnt realize? he whispered to me, panicky, Hes getting old. He doesnt want to carry on working no matter what the consequences anyway. I sure as hell wouldnt. Maybe he will sell up.
Nah, I told him, brushing it off with
Riding on this wave for so long
I wonder if I can ever get off or
turn the other way?
Letting the stream take me away
I wonder if I can keep my head above water
and see what's happening?
Blown around on trade winds
I wonder if I can change my path, make life easier,
to twist my destiny someplace else?
Running from a tropical storm
I wonder if some day I will get to taste the fresh air,
stay in front of the roar and let it rage behind me?
Sitting in the passenger seat
I wonder if I can take power
and if I won't crash.
The never ending rise, the never ending climb
That steals the sand from beneath my feet
That never ending rise, that never ending climb
That's washing away the lies and all the deceit
I stand upon a castle, crumbling
I scream but no one cares
I'm groping after imaginary rope
Under all these icy stares
You advised me just to deny it all
So I did, and they left me here
Wasting away, seeing the end,
But waiting a few more years
As the waves climb ever higher
And the sun burns my bare back
I know it's all too late
And I let my mind go slack
Too late to apologise
Too late to fix all the wrongs, the jury has spoken
I'm sorry doesn
The way of civilized men. by ToiletBrush, literature
Literature
The way of civilized men.
It has been three hundred and seventy two days since this war began. Civil war. More than a years worth of battles and spilt blood. I can tell you that there is nothing civil about it. No politeness. When nations face against nations they take the care to state their intentions first, for honour and for chivalry. But when a nation fights against itself, there are no such discussions. No warnings, no timidity and no restraint. In civil war, there is no opportunity to surrender. There will be only one outcome, one possible finish under a cloud of black smoke.
When enemies know each other the way friends do, there is no time set aside for
Varulf peered over the rocks into the distance. Far across the wild of sand and stone and heat, his quarry awaited. The sky was a clear dark blue blazing richly like sapphires, and the sun stood directly overhead, cursing their task. It was the time of year when the sun never set, and held its full heat in the Desert of Lies.
Varulf had lived in the desert all his life, had never seen any other lands. He had never known anything but the sweltering heat, yet even he despised it. Hidden under his long, light clothes that covered him from head to toe in black cloth, he sweated. He knew, as did his twelve companions, that they would need m
The blackness of the water was compelling. It drew to me as a river runs downhill. There was no other option than bathing myself in the liquid darkness. As I looked at it the stream seemed to grow ever darker. A black that was more than pitch. It swallowed the light from my torch, and any shadow that played across its surface from stalagmite or stalactite simply disappeared, embraced by the water.
The cave was large enough to stand fully erect, with room to spare, but it was thin, barely broad enough for two men abreast, even ignoring the pointed rock that grew from the ground. Those spires, tinted greens and blues, made a maze of the c
A beggar sits in his own stinking filth on the side of the bustling road. People mill about in front of him, ignoring this decrepit mess. His bones are wrapped tight by weary skin and his grey beard hangs lifeless from tanned cheeks, flowing over chapped and bloody lips. His throat is raw, his body weak. He begs openly, his shaky hands held outstretched and cupped in front of him toward the ignorant crowd. He dizzily watches their knees pass hurriedly by, unable to even croak at them for attention as they ignore his private show.
The noise of the street is awing and it is not only the beggar's stench that fills the foul air. But he is g
Fingers stroke each other, twisting and tickling, feeling and following the lines upon our palms. She traces the line that, as palm-readers claim, can read my fortune in love. She is soft, delicate, untarnished by work or pain. She touches me, and her focus is all on me. She is here just for me. We are here together in the innocent honesty of a clear night.
I shift a little on the wet grass, leaning in toward her ever so slightly, trying to be subtle. Wondering now if she noticed my change, wondering if it makes her feel uncomfortable. The night is cool, and I enjoy the closeness. I enjoy her.
We don't need conversation as we look
Without a word, I say my prayers
head bowed low and hands clasped tight
eyes clenched shut, but i can see the light
as i step upon those golden stairs
one foot after the other
I climb up high
I cant hear your breathing when im in my
prayers and dreams of life in ether
my body is at your mercy
but my Spirit flies away
my flesh awaits your taste like trusting, tamed prey
but dont think this means i agree
tomorrow I'll be sore
though I wont at first know why
and ill have that strange feeling as if I need to cry
when i realise that you've taken more
you've taken so much
stolen everything i thought i had
and to think i used to sm
Holding onto memories lost
Holding onto feelings dead
Holding on so tight and hard
Knuckles are white and my heart is charred
For all the love you gave to me
It soon turned sour on this bitter tongue
I didn't realise what we had
Now you walk away, please look back
It's all my fault, I know that now
Today I'm ready for you to change me
Talk to me and make me see
That we were meant for eternity
But you don't look back and I am left
With these thoughts and with these dreams
To beg, pray and hope
At an unforgiving steep slope
I hold on now with one determined fist
Only one hand free to live my shattered life
Because I chased you
Yesterday I saw you
sitting, a rockfish,
a silent stone
on the seabed.
I nearly pricked myself
on your quills.
I followed, shadowed
the scent of cedar smoke
to you, the fire,
blazing, crackling,
challenging the sky
for her rank.
I know you have no need
of velvet petals,
only your thistle thorns.
But sometimes you show
me your stalwart blossom:
a flash of pink flanked by barbs.
So I wandered you for hours,
up your twisted turrets
sweeping and stabbing the sky,
and I still couldnt find
the bodies of your ghosts.
I touched you.
Disturbed the reflection of
your destruction on
your flood. I watched your body s
Hidden in the shadows
There's nothing left to say
I'm waiting for the moment
When I drop down on my prey
He walks towards the spot
Where my ambush lies in wait
There's nothing he can do
Final move, checkmate.
Current Residence: UK Favourite genre of music: Just about everything, depending on what I feel like. But I usually feel like metal. Shell of choice: Does anyone actually know what this one means? Personal Quote: if you cant work it out, maybe you dont deserve to know.
Haven't done a journal in more than two years. They've even changed the box you type in. But it was pretty easy to figure out, it's still a square shape. Probably a rectangle actually.
Apparently I signed up here six years ago. I suppose I had a couple years of activity in all of that, the rest of the time I just pop in to read odd bits and bobs. But i'm far more cynical than I was six years past, now I never find anything I like.
I never want to write either, except right now, which inspired me to pop on here while I wait for open office to download. I got a new pc recently and there's barely anything on it yet, including all my old unfini
No. Not that. Not the annual goldfish either. Me. Hm. That title isn't great.
My first journal of the new year. Momentous.
I've been writing again recently and its drawing me back in like an old, comfortable sofa with my bodies perfect imprint accepting me back in the way that you slot in the last piece of a puzzle. It's also inspired more reading, which I'll get onto more in a moment. Otherwise i'm just lurking around here on dA, a phantom that takes but does not give. I'm getting a move on looking for work early (now, in fact) for this season, its starting well but we'll see what happens there (other than inevitably dragging me away from
I just watched 'The Diving Bell And The Butterfly'. A fantastic French film I'll recommend to everyone. I was originally enticed by the title, but it has nothing to do with diving. Put simply it's about a man who has a stroke and is paralysed in all but his left eye. It's a true story about his life and based upon his memoirs. It's very powerful and the acting is strong. Luckily it's not constantly sad and I even laughed a few times, everything about it seems well structured so I advise you to go watch it.
In other news I'm reading Berlin by Antony Beevor (That guy who wrote Stalingrad. Pretty famous book on a pretty famous city.) I never en
I know what you mean about memory. When you're experiencing something so profound that you're so focused on trying to memorize everything rather than basking in the moment. There's something tragic about forgetting bits of your own life; if you don't remember, who will, right?
You poor thing; my exams ended today! (20th century History - it was honestly an insult to my intellect)